Everyone says it's impossible to truly move on until you have buried the hatchet, extended the olive branch, and sent a white peace dove bearing a little reconciliation note to your ex.
So here I am. You know who's ready to move on? This camper. You know who just sent a "Have A Great Wedding!" email to her ex-boyfriend? That's right. You know who is selfishly hoping this will release something in the universe and she will suddenly be in a fantastic relationship with someone amazing? Right again! (I never said this wasn't self-interested. I mean, forgiveness is great but forgiveness with benefits would be even better.)
I'm gonna spell this out in writing, just to be sure the message gets received:
DEAR UNIVERSE,
I FORGAVE HIM. AND WROTE HIM A REALLY NICE "CONGRATS ON YOUR WEDDING" EMAIL. CAN YOU NOW PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SEND ME SOMEONE WONDERFUL? SOMEONE SMART, KIND, AND FUNNY? (OH, YEAH. AND IF HE COULD *NOT* BE INTO GROUP SEX, THAT WOULD BE AWESOME. LOL.) IF YOU COULD DO YOUR BEST TO PULL SOME STRINGS, THAT WOULD BE GREAT. MAYBE YOU ALREADY HAVE IT IN THE WORKS? (IS THE GUY IN THE BAND MY GUY??)
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING. SOMETIMES I THINK YOU'RE A REAL KIDDER (POLYAMORISTS, DEPRESSED TRIATHLETES, CIRCUS PERFORMERS WITH ANAL FIXATIONS...I MEAN, WOW.) BUT DESPITE IT ALL, I REALLY HAVE FAITH THAT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
FOODIE GAL
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