Tapping the Old Well

Sometimes life is complicated, like when you meet someone and you like him a lot and it turns out that he is polyamorous/not over his last girlfriend/deeply depressed/a total asshole.

And sometimes life is simple, like when an old lover pops out of the woodwork with that old "Hey, I feel like it's been a long time" line. Love is complicated. Tapping an old well is simple.

And you know what? Sometimes I really like simple. I like knowing exactly what the limitations/expectations are in a relationship. For instance, the old lover of mine who just resurfaced--let's call him Mr. Food--is always up for a nice restaurant and a (predictable but satisfying) romp that follows. He's always super clean (no extended day of mini-golfing followed by no shower followed by sex for him!) and he doesn't cuddle. He's well-groomed in all regards. He likes to leave his giant flat-screen tv on, playing ESPN, when he's home (totally annoying.) He takes direction well (totally hot.) It's a real mixed bag with him, but at least I know what I'm getting into when we're getting into bed. There is absolutely no roving butthole haunting me in the middle of the night (see last blog posting for the uninitiated.) All good things to know.

Mostly, this situation is uncomplicated because it's just food and sex. Our relationship is entirely based on eating (and loving it) and fucking (and loving it.) I don't expect him to call the next day. I've been known to roll out at 5am when he's still asleep (he was a little irked by that move, but hey...a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. I think he's forgiven me.) Basically, it's just a classic, straight-up, old-school booty call. Nothing fancy. No anal beads, no one else involved, no promises. Just good, old-fashioned sex.

You know what? I think this is just what the doctor ordered. I'm gonna take two and call you in the morning.