The Ethical Slut

Another year, another man throwing another curve ball.



Here's how my Friday night with the Harvard Writer went down:



I met him at his Santa Monica apartment (which is reasonably-well furnished for a single 37-year-old guy, and also reasonably clean--bonus points) and we had a little wine in his kitchen. He was very cute, slightly awkward, and super nervous, in an endearing way. His apartment reflected some hard-core nerdiness (chain mail, gauntlets), hard-core artsiness (drawings, sculpture, and paintings by both him and various family members adorn the apartment), and some general hard-coreness (Idiot's Guide to "El Sexo"--en espanol.) I can get down with all of these so...check, check, and check.



We were getting along like a house on fire, and discovering all sorts of odd coincidences (we frequented the same local bookstore as kids! We're both lactose intolerant! Our mothers have both had their thyroids removed!) until we finally realized it was almost 10pm and we hadn't had dinner! So we popped into his new Prius, sped up the Pacific Coast Highway to a little restaurant in Malibu, and had a light dinner. He was the perfect gentleman--the door opening, tab-picking-upping, serving-me-the-rice-first kinda gentleman. I was in heaven. After dinner, because it was unseasonably warm and extremely beautiful out, we headed further up the coast and down to the water. Hours were spent holding hands, kissing, talking our ears off, and discovering more similarities...it was very sweet.



Around 1am we hopped back into his car, and were cruising down the PCH towards his place when he decided to drop this bomb: he does not want to be in a monogamous relationship. As in, ever. Like, this guy avoids monogamy like most people avoid the clap. And here's where it gets even better--while he does not want to commit to one woman, he very much wants to have kids. And still have an open relationship. Really. As in, "Oh hey, can you pick up Ben at soccer practice at 3? You can't? Because you're having random sex with someone else? Oh, ok. No biggie." FOR REAL.



He has had open relationships before, and believes himself to be something of an ethical slut, me thinks.



All I can say is, I have seen some shoes drop in my time but this really might take the cake. Love? Kids? And random sex? All in one household? I'm gonna have to go all Amy Winehouse on him and go "I said, NO, NO, NO."



However, in the spirit of full disclosure, I would let him take me out again (I know some of you are screaming "NOOOOOOOO!" at your computers right now.) Why? Because I'm on the Four Man Plan. And you know what? It's just not that deep. Sure, the Harvard Writer has an expiration date, after which he, like a carton of milk, will curdle my stomach, but until then...why not?